First story! As it appears to me.

I am now going to do the thing that I have put off for many years! I am going to write my impressions of myself and of my family.

This is something that I have wanted to do for many years and it is time now that I work on it. Do not expect that I will say anything about you at any time. Do not be surprised if I do; however, do not expect that I will say anything good about you.

I remember my entire life as if it were to have happened earlier today so one can expect me to always be truthful about all things. If you seem to remeber the thing differently than I, well just remember that I cannot tell the truth, er I mean a lie.

The day that I was born was a very nice warm day with the sun shining over the doctors shoulder so as I was born all I could see was that big yellow bald spot.

Now, the first few years of my life were so boring that all I could do was to eat, sleep, and dirty my diapers so I will not bore you with these trivialities.

The thing that I remember most was my first two years in the Victor, Montana school district. The first year was taught by miss Monstrosity. she had to be at least 112 years old as it would take a person at least that long to get that ornery. While she was teaching trigonometry she used to come behind each of us boys and beat the back of our necks with her yard stick if we questioned anything. We must not have done our homework if we had to ask such simple questions.

The second year was taught by the most devastating woman that I can remember up until I was married, This Lady was so agreeable that we all tried to find a way to get to help her with cleaning the blackboards and the erasers. I remember how we boys would try to be tthe first who got to kiss her. As it happens I was the first who was kissed by her as I was told one winters day that if I would stick my tongue on the merry-go-round bar I would be the bravest of all. Well, they were all jealous as can be when she found me stuck to the merry-go-round and after using some warm water to get my tongue loose she took me in and kissed me better while I was getting warm.

Between my second and third grade years my uncle Steve was fortunate enough to be given a pony of his own and I would get to ride it if I was a good boy and would do most of his chores for him. We would ride the horse up and down the hillsides as we wandered between our parents pastures trying to herd the cattle. We would play marshall Matt Dillon and I got to play Chester. Funny, now that I look back on it. Chester was the gimpy fellow who could not walk staight. We would ride down to the river and skinny dip. Seems this was were I learned to swim, there at the river and at our local pond. It was far more challenging at the river as there were always swirls in the water that could cause a person to drown.